First of all, let me give the necessary warning. If tried by an inexperienced layman, the method I am about to describe will surely be a disaster as it has been suggested by some maven of the field. Like, fatal-type catastrophe! So consider yourself forewarned! Now, a few assets of this method for the ‘experts’ who would like to execute it. You may think that you can never be happy without a particular person(let us call him/her as ‘X’), but it’s not true. You will move on, and you will feel like yourself again. After you break up, you may find that you have lots of extra time and money that you no longer have to spend on your ex. So date yourself! Throw some bills in the air and make yourself feel like a king or queen. Here’s how you can forget someone you don’t want to love anymore!
Now let’s come to the point and learn our method to forget someone, the ‘X’:
There is a little of the Physics involved but don’t sweat the physics stuff. It’s not that hard to follow.
Quantum mechanics boils down to one simple principle: sometimes you win, sometimes you lose and sometimes you get rained out. You can’t be sure of the result until you read about it in the sports section of the newspaper.
But that’s just one interpretation — and there’s every reason to believe it’s the wrong one. We both win and lose. We go on to glory in one version of the Universe, and go down to ignominious defeat in another. (And, not to neglect the other possibility, we get soaking wet in a third.) The field of play is called the multiverse.
But you already knew that, right? Lately, it’s all over TV, movies and the Internet. Few, however, realise that the concept is more than 50 years old. Sometimes it takes that long to agglomerate something into the popular zeitgeist.
It may be difficult to understand how we can exploit this fact to our personal benefit — but that’s what this exposition is all about.
Like I said, don’t sweat the small stuff. Bottom line, here’s what you need to kludge together to solve the age-old problem of unrequited love:
1) One big-assed electrical generator, capable of delivering instantaneous jolts of 20 or more amps on demand.
2) Two very large copper cables connected to the positive and negative poles of said generator, terminating in handgrips that you will grasp while standing barefoot in a tub of salt water.
3) A quantum trigger. An old radium-dial watch will do nicely.
4) A photomultiplier tube, to detect the random photons that emanate from the radium source.
5) A video camera focused on the page of the telephone directory that lists the name of your love interest.
6) A PC programmed to fire off the generator’s output when instructed by the quantum trigger, but also to cease firing when the video camera detects the disappearance of said name in the directory.
Simple, right? Remember, you both win and lose. The radium watch dial can either produce a photon within the computer’s scanning cycle or not. Both possibilities are real. The ‘you’ that survives this process will be the winner, set free, free, free. No more ‘X’.
True, millions — possibly billions, trillions, quadrillions — of yourselves will die to get there. But they’re just bodies under the bridge.
Yet, it’s not all so simple. The astute reader will question why and how I can refer to ‘X’ at all in my tale when he/ she has never existed in my current Universe.
The answer? You never pulled that quantum trigger.
GIVE IT A TRY AND SEE IF IT HELPS!
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